The struggle to find work-life balance may be “the single most important thing in your life to get right,” says Weyburn, Sask. farmer, Jake Leguee. “It’s also one of the hardest things any of us will ever do.”
Farming presents unique challenges for achieving work-life balance. While technologies like robotic milkers and birthing cameras in the barn should ease the strain, it still feels like there is always more work that you could be doing with any time that they do free up.
Then add in the toll from unco-operative weather and equipment breakdowns, which can disrupt the best of plans, and top it all off with the pressure that comes from inheriting a culture where self-sacrifice and long hours are the expected norm.
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As managing partner of a multi-generation 16,000-acre grain farm, Leguee knows his sleep suffers during the busy seasons. He has built a good team, but even with lots of help on the farm, “we all get run down,” he says.
He’s not the only one, says Beverly Beuermann-King, a resiliency and stress expert from Little Britain, Ont., who grew up on a dairy farm and says sleep issues are one of the tell-tale signs of a life that’s out of balance,
Other signs that you could benefit from a more optimal work-life balance range from relationship conflict, feeling negative and being accident prone to suffering from fatigue, substance abuse and heart disease.
If you notice any of these signs, Beuermann-King recommends evaluating your satisfaction with respect to family, career, health, personal growth, spirituality, fun, romance and community involvement.
She also suggests keeping a time log so you have an accurate idea of how you’re currently spending your time. Then, reflect on your top three priorities, your time-wasters, and what you can change so you can spend more time on your priorities. Ask yourself: What can I delegate? What can I discard?
Brainstorm a list of strategies that will help you have more harmony between what you desire and how you are currently living, Beuermann-King says. “It’s about making work-life choices,” she explains. “You could plan a date night, trade child care with other couples, take a nap after lunch, do a creative hobby, or take a walk in nature. Be intentional with your time.”
Not everyone on the farm has the same views on work-life balance, so communication is essential, adds Beuermann-King. “Younger generations, for example, are often less willing to sacrifice everything for the farm, so maybe things can be done differently now. The older generation needs to be open to change or the younger generation may not be willing to take over.”
Getting intentional
Krista Hulshof, an architect who specializes in agri-tourism and is married to a hog farmer near Stratford, Ont., has been striving to create a better work-life balance. About two years ago, this mother of three young children says she was feeling overwhelmed and burned out. She wasn’t getting enough sleep and she was easily frustrated and quick to anger.
Through an online coaching program that is geared to helping mothers manage their emotions and stress, she learned new habits. One of the most important changes she made was to take some quiet time, 10 to 30 minutes, to meditate at the end of each workday.
For Hulshof, another helpful practice has been to journal. “I sit in my car and tap out the anger. Once the emotion is spent, I have clarity and can be more logical.”
Hulshof agrees there is pressure to work long hours in agriculture as well as expectations of “what you’re supposed to do.” As a result, she makes a point of evaluating how and where she spends her time. “Do I have a garden because I want to or because it’s expected? Do I have to put in so many hours or is that an expectation?”
According to Statistics Canada, women carry more of the workload for housekeeping and child care, and a more equitable sharing of these tasks could reduce the pressure on them.
Previously, Hulshof had a house cleaner but now that her children are a little older (ages five to 10), they are all expected to pitch in, including her husband. “We should all share and not let gender role expectations get in the way,” she says.
Making a mental shift in her outlook has been important for work-life balance, continues Hulshof. “We think we can do it all but we can’t,” she says. “I’ve stopped feeling guilty about taking a night off or doing a hobby.” She and her husband now set aside Sundays for family time — except for necessary chores.
In the past, Hulshof also used a meal service. “The best part was lifting the mental load of not having to think about what to cook,” she says. “The food would be there and I would know it would take 40 minutes to prepare.” While she no longer uses the meal service, she does plan ahead for six meals at a time.
A better plan
For Stephanie Craig, owner of Tullamore Lavender farm near Arthur, Ont., a change in perspective was also a critical step in overcoming the pressure of a toxic culture that says “you can do it all.” She thinks this pressure is especially strong for millennials and women. In her opinion, a better approach is “you can do it all, but not all at once.”
When Craig’s child was born three years ago, she left a good-paying off-farm job to focus on farming and parenting, knowing that trying to do all three would prove too much. Having her child in daycare has been important for the success of the farm. She fits two phone calls into her workday breaks to maintain social ties with friends who live at a distance.
To maintain balance, Craig says she has to say “no” to a lot of things right now but figures there will be more time for volunteering when her child has grown up.
Similarly, Anna Lisa Wienecke can also foresee a time when her kids are older and it will get easier to pursue personal interests. But right now, as the full-time grain merchant and office manager at the elevator she owns with her husband near Tottenham, Ont., having the same busy period as her husband further exacerbates the struggle to maintain work-life balance.
With their rural location, she also spends a lot of time driving their teens to their various extra-curricular activities or arranging rides for them as well as managing the household and overseeing their school responsibilities.
In the meantime, buying a cottage and hiring additional office help have both been positive steps to help ease her stress, she says. “I was able to delegate some of my work, freeing myself for more family time. And going to the cottage has allowed me to step away and take a break from the busyness of my daily life.” She is also grateful for the opportunity to spend quality time with the family at their cottage.
Wienecke also implemented a few other positive strategies for better balance. These include hiring a bi-weekly house cleaning service, attending a weekly yoga class where she learned breathing techniques that help her cope with stress, and occasionally going out for lunch with her husband or a friend, which she finds gives her some social time without interfering with evening activities.
Having a supportive partner has also been key to managing the overload, says Wienecke. When the pressure of doing a good job at everything and also meeting her own expectations starts to add up, her husband reminds her that some things don’t need her immediate response.
“We have conversations about this and have made decisions together to allow a more balanced lifestyle. It is not always easy… it is something we are constantly working on,” she says.
Toughing it out?
Like Wienecke, Rumsey, Alta. grain farmer, John Kowalchuk, also emphasizes the importance of talking to family and friends when you’re struggling, something he says he learned the hard way. “It’s not about toughing it out. It’s important to recognize when you need help and to ask for it.”
It has also convinced him to make some important choices. So, for instance, work-life balance has meant limiting the size of the farm to what he can manage on his own with some extra help during the busy seasons. He needs to prioritize time for himself and his family, he says, noting “there will always be more work to do but the kids grow up fast.”
In addition, Kowalchuk has a group of farmer friends that he regularly communicates with on X (formerly Twitter) where he can open up discussions if he’s stressed because it’s too wet, too dry or he’s too tired. “It’s a great outlet so you know you’re not in it alone.”
Taking regular breaks, even during the busy season, is also critical, he says. He always makes time to coach his daughter’s ball team even though games start at 4 p.m., and he also golfs weekly in a men’s league.
In his experience, the time away from the farm pays off as it makes him a better person at work. “It rejuvenates me,” Kowalchuk says. “I come back rested and renewed and with a better perspective.”
Resources:
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, book by Stephen R. Covey
- National Farm Leadership Program with Kelly Dobson
- Work-Life Balance course by Beverly Beuermann-King
