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Hanson Acres: It never gets that cold – not really!

“Won’t it be too cold for ice cream?”

Reading Time: 5 minutes

Published: March 3, 2023

hanson acres

The air compressor was running so Mark Edwards didn’t hear Elaine Hanson come into the Hanson’s shop. But once it shut off, it made him jump to find her standing right behind him, waving a piece of paper and yelling.

He frowned, then started to grin. “You must’ve picked up the mail,” he nodded.

Elaine’s husband Jeff came over from the other side of the shop, where he’d been welding parts for the cleaning plant.

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“Everything okay?” Jeff asked, pulling his helmet off. For the six-and-a-half years Mark had worked on the Hanson farm, nobody had ever had a reason to shout at him.

“Mark’s getting married,” Elaine said.

Jeff shrugged. “He’s been engaged for ages.”

Mark and his fiancée, Jody, had planned a summer wedding for 2020. When Covid-19 rules stopped the party, they’d postponed. “I’m not getting married on Zoom,” Jody had said. She’d been planning her wedding since she was five. “I’ve made a whole seating plan in the Stoney Valley Hall. I don’t want my guests watching us on their phone screens.”

“He’s getting married next month! In February,” Elaine said, passing Jeff the thick piece of paper.

“We’ve waited long enough,” Mark said. “And Jody has a week off from school in February.”

“Do we get to fly to Mexico?” Jeff asked.

“Nope,” Mark said. “You get to drive 30 minutes south to the Stoney Valley Hall.”

“No flip-flops?” Jeff asked.

“Maybe,” Mark said. “Jody’s watching the long-range forecast. It won’t be too cold.”

“How can we help?” Elaine said.

“Just show up,” Mark said. “Have a good time.”

“Look,” Elaine showed Jeff some pieces from the stack of mail. “Jody sent separate invitations to Connor and Jenny.”

“Jody says kids like mail,” Mark said. “And your family’s important to us.”

In the month leading up to the wedding, the Hansons asked Mark a lot of questions.

“Is there going to be cake?” asked nine-year-old Jenny.

“We’re having an ice cream sundae bar,” Mark said. “You can add your own sprinkles and syrups.”

“Won’t it be too cold for ice cream?” Jenny asked.

“Never,” Mark said.

“Will we have to go to church?” 12-year-old Connor asked.

“Yes,” Mark said. “Four o’clock. After that, we’ll go to the hall for dinner and a dance. Don’t tell Jody, but I’m driving her there on my snowmobile.”

“In her wedding dress?”

“Yep,” Mark said. “She doesn’t know yet. She thinks we’re taking my truck.”

“She’ll get cold,” Jenny warned.

“It won’t be that cold,” Mark said.

But it was that cold. Mid-afternoon on the day before the wedding, the thermometer only crept up as far as -37 C. It wasn’t warmer on the wedding day. Mark phoned Jeff just after lunch.

“I’ve got a bit of a problem,” Mark said.

“Changed your mind?” Jeff said. “Need a ride to the airport?”

“That might be a good idea,” Mark said. “The power’s off at the hall.”

“What?”

“It was okay last night when the women were in there decorating. But I went over to drop off some booze, and there’s no power today.”

“Oh-oh,” Jeff said.

“Jody’s dad and I already found the culprit. An owl flew in under the transformer. Must’ve tripped the fuse.”

“That happened there a few years ago. I think SaskPower had to come in and reset it at the pole.”

“Yep. They can’t get here until Tuesday.”

“Damn,” Jeff said. “Are you moving the party to Weyburn?”

“Nope,” Mark said. “Jody wants it here. I’ll be deader than that owl if I don’t figure out a way to warm up that building. Could you bring your portable generator? And a space heater or two? Maybe a floor lamp?”

Meanwhile, Elaine was on the phone with Jody’s sister. “Really?” Elaine was asking. Then: “If you’re sure. I’ll get started.” She hung up and called over to Jeff. “I need to take my own vehicle to Stoney Valley today. Can you take the kids?”

“Sure,” Jeff said. “They can help me haul some stuff over there right now, too.”

By four o’clock the Hansons were seated in the church with Mark and Jody’s friends and family. Mark was waiting nervously at the front.

“He looks a little stiff,” Jeff said. “I think he’s worried.”

“Or frozen,” Elaine said. “They’ve been taking photos outside.”

Then Jody came in with her father, cheeks pink from the cold, white dress floating down the aisle behind her.

Later, at the hall, Jody took a flashlight straight to the washroom to straighten her hair after the snowmobile ride from the church. “I should’ve known you’d pull a stunt like this,” she shouted to Jeff, pretending she wasn’t delighted that he’d decorated his snowmobile for the occasion.

While Elaine went to pick something up from Jody’s mother’s house, Jeff, their kids, and the other guests entered through the front porch, using phones as flashlights.

“I can see my breath,” Jenny said.

“Can we keep our mitts on?” Connor asked.

“We’d better,” Jeff said.

“Wow,” Jenny said as she stepped into the hall. Floor lamps were plugged into generators in the corners, and the tables were lit with glowsticks and battery-operated mini candles.

“Look at the chairs,” Jenny said. There was a different blanket hung on the back of every guest’s chair, from faux-fur throws to hand-knit afghans. “That’ll keep us warm while we eat!”

“This old building looks better with dim lighting,” Mark said when he came to greet them.

“We love it!” Jenny said.

“Jody’s mom got the church ladies to bring all their blankets over, and her teacher friends brought glow sticks from their supply cupboards,” Mark explained.

“I said it would be too cold for ice cream,” Jenny said.

“You were right,” Mark said. “But Jody turned it into a hot chocolate bar.” Sure enough, the huge community urn was steaming and gurgling on a corner table loaded with mugs, bottles of syrups and bowls of sprinkles and marshmallows.

“Wow!” Jenny said again.

“Check out your mom,” Mark said, pointing.

Elaine was putting a crock pot on a table by the bar while one of Jody’s cousins set up a line of shot glasses next to it.

“Soup shooters as appetizers!” Mark said. “To keep everyone warm.”

“So that’s what Elaine was doing today,” Jeff said.

“Jody loves Elaine’s lentil soup,” Mark said.

“At least it’ll keep our hands warm,” Connor said. He was not a fan of lentil soup.

“Pictures go all right?” Jeff asked.

“The photographer went on and on about how my dark suit looked next to the hoarfrost. Then Jody and I had to kiss for about half an hour so she could get a shot of the steam rising up from our lips with sun dogs in the background. My lip froze.”

A line was forming at the soup shooter bar as cold guests streamed in from the church. Jody’s great-aunt was explaining her afghan pattern to Mark’s sister-in-law. Small kids were sneaking marshmallows from the hot chocolate table when they thought their parents weren’t looking.

“Good thing you didn’t cancel,” Jeff said. “With all these heaters and people, it’s warming up in here.”

“I knew it wouldn’t be that cold,” Mark said. “It never really is here.”

About The Author

Leeann Minogue

Leeann Minogue

Leeann Minogue is a writer and part of a family farm in southeast Saskatchewan.

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