During the pandemic, trauma counsellor Catherine Clark became intrigued by the idea of creating a Mental Health Resiliency Roadmap to help address the deep emotional pain, anxiety and burnout that families, businesses and communities were experiencing.
Based on key findings in neural, cognitive and behavioural science, Clark wanted the resiliency roadmap to help individuals meet the challenges that come with mental illness, particularly the feelings of darkness, grief, anger, irritation and frustration.
Now, the roadmap is the heart of her new book, Gifts in Dark Packages: How to Embrace Adversity, Transform Your Life and Experience Joy.
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Although Clark calls Toronto home these days, she grew up in rural southwestern Ontario where her summer jobs included on-farm fieldwork and even working in a pickle factory. And she still maintains close ties to agriculture.
Importantly, her brother-in-law and nephew are dairy farmers near Woodstock, Ont., where they will soon be opening Golspie Dairy selling their British cheese and fresh milk from a vending machine.
It’s important because although this kind of innovation in farming is necessary, it can also be very anxiety-provoking, says Clark.
Concerned about the high level of stress and its impact on farm families, Clark emphasizes the importance of building bridges to mental health resources, and she wants to lift the lid on the stigma and darkness of mental disorders.
Country Guide recently caught up with Clark for a Q&A session. (The interview has been edited for length.)
CG: Who would benefit by reading your book Gifts in Dark Packages?
Clark: This book is for anyone who needs more self-care and emotional well-being right now — which is basically everyone I know, especially with the pandemic.
It’s for those experiencing hardship, adversity or a big transition like the death of a loved one, a divorce, a debilitating accident, job loss, or simply trying to juggle childcare with all of the other demands of life. It’s for those who feel like they’re stuck and overwhelmed but don’t know where to turn.
CG: Can you tell us more about the resiliency roadmap you’ve created?
Clark: There are 11 checkpoints on the resiliency roadmap with all the roadblocks, construction and exits we encounter in real life. I have distilled the roadmap down into simple, bite-sized, mental health strategies and checklists that really help you transform destructive patterns into constructive growth. Transformation happens when we are able to acknowledge, accept, embrace and give our dark gifts.
I love storytelling and believe it’s the most powerful medium for healing. In the book I share my own downward spiral story and mental health challenges as well as relatable case studies to illustrate how using these actions can turn adversity into resiliency.
CG: If you had to choose one aspect of the roadmap for people to focus on, what would it be?
Clark: Just as you need to ensure your car is safe before you set out on a trip, you need to “look under the hood” and take stock of your emotional health before you set out on the resiliency roadway.
There are many online resources (such as CAMH or Mentalhealthmatters.ca) to test your stress level or depression index that I’d recommend. Maybe you meet the criteria for a cyber addiction or seasonal affective disorder — that’s important to know. These conditions are highly treatable. With the support of physicians, counsellors and a caring community, anyone can live a healthy, happy, productive life even with a mental disorder.
Unfortunately, many of us do not pay attention to our physical or mental health until we’re doubled over in pain or on the brink of burnout. Or, we practice wearing a painted-on smile and “everything’s just fine facade” until we just can’t play the game any longer.
That’s why we need mental health resiliency, a set of informed wellness practices — physical, cognitive, emotional and spiritual — that empower us to withstand and learn from difficult and traumatic experiences. These practices will help you move through any adversity to arrive at the next best version of yourself.
Checkpoint one in the book is critical to developing the self-awareness and self-honesty needed to safely process the emotions buried deep in your dark box and heal your pain. I truly believe, “You have to feel it all to heal it all.”
CG: What are your favourite resiliency tools and why?
Clark: Simple tools like creating a Mental Health Booster jar, putting a post-it note on your computer that reminds you to BREATHE, writing a lifeline list of people you can call when you’re feeling overwhelmed or simply taking a brisk walk are easy ways to support your mental health every single day!
I’d also like to encourage readers to make practising mindfulness a habit. I truly believe our ability to be fully present in the moment … to engage in micro-moments of joy … is one of the greatest resiliency tools we have.
Starting and ending every day with gratitude has been scientifically proven to positively change your brain. It boosts the neurotransmitters in the brain that improve your mood, giving you feelings of pleasure, happiness and well-being.
Instead of focusing on what you’ve lost, start each day being thankful for what you have. Name it out loud. Write it on a post-it note where you’ll see it every day. Keep a journal of things you’re grateful for each day such as a good night’s sleep, a healthy breakfast, a cozy fireplace, your dog or cat, someone who cares, music, your favourite tree, a babbling brook, etc. And do something every day that makes you smile and laugh out loud!
CG: What else would you like Country Guide readers to know?
Clark: Please do not suffer in silence. You are not alone. If you’re feeling depressed or highly anxious, please know your feelings are valid and normal. Please reach out for help from a trusted family member, friend, physician, clergy member, counsellor or help-line.
Suicide does not discriminate. Anyone of any race, gender, age, or socioeconomic status may feel suicidal at any point in their lives. Even someone who seems to be happy or to “have it all” can be vulnerable to suicide.
If you notice someone is acting out of character and you’re concerned, please take them for a cup of coffee, go for a walk and tell them you care. Ask them if they are thinking about ending their life. When you’re this honest with someone they will usually be honest right back. You could literally save a life. Please check out the resources on my website (see below).
Resources
- Learn more about Clark’s book, Gifts in Dark Packages: How to Embrace Adversity, Transform Your Life and Experience Joy (2022).
- Do More Agriculture Foundation maintains a list of country-wide mental health supports.
If you are in crisis, please visit your local emergency department or call 911 immediately.
No more myths
Some common myths about mental health can end up doing more harm than good, says trauma counsellor Catherine Clark. These include:
1. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
If this was true, then everyone who’s ever been traumatized would be flourishing. They’d be living great lives already. Instead, though, the reality is that adversity can bury us in crippling pain. If it helps us grow, it’s often painful growth, so take charge of your mind and work with your spirit. Reach out for community or cultural resources that support healing and growth.
Post Traumatic Growth is the struggle to reconstruct our lives after our world view and conditioned beliefs have been shattered. Clark calls it the “dark gift” and says it can lead to shifting priorities and pivotal changes that not only benefit your life but also the lives of others
2. You just have to tough it out.
This is an expression that promotes self-stigma. In Clark’s opinion, this faulty programming is a key contributor to burnout culture. It reminds her of how people used to brag about pulling all-nighters or working harder than is humanly sustainable. Our culture promotes and rewards people for this kind of “work yourself to the bone” behaviour. Today sleep deprivation and a lack of work-life balance are being researched as key contributors to disease and premature death.
3. Just look on the bright side.
Clark calls this “toxic positivity” and says it happens when people become obsessed with putting a positive spin on absolutely everything. It is ultimately a denial of reality. Being told your thoughts and feelings aren’t legitimate means you avoid embracing the darkness. You suppress all negativity, thereby exacerbating physical health problems and worsening your mental health. Be aware; people who demand positivity from others are actually unsupportive.
