want them to be there for everything, all of the management decisions that are being made in those eight weeks.”
Spending so much time together, or even just getting together now and again, can be difficult if personalities don’t blend. Dumont says that requires good communication from both sides.
“Let each other know what you want out of the experience,” Dumont says. “The mentee has to let the mentor know — and the mentor to let the mentee know what they can help them with.”
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Stone says it’s also important for the mentor to keep in mind that the role is that of an advisor, not an expert. He says when you “start poking things in their ear that they don’t like,” mentees resist.
“What we do is offer options,”Stone says. “It’s pretty easy, because we’ve been doing this for so long, we become the expert in our own mind. We need to not be the expert but ferret out what they need help with and help them find their way through it.”
Jen Denys, owner of Right Path Consulting in Parkhill, Ont., says it’s best to be open from the beginning about what you’ll do if you don’t see eye to eye.
“It maybe feels like a difficult conversation, but say up front that if this relationship at some point doesn’t meet with your expectations or fit with your schedule anymore, let’s agree to walk away — and all on good terms,” Denys says.
Denys says setting the rules early about how often you’ll get in touch and when you’ll wrap things up will help prevents hard feelings. It also helps to set a timeline for providing feedback, both ways, to keep the communication open.
“It’s not going to be enjoyable and you’re not going to get much out of it if it’s something else on your “to do” list every day,” she says. “You want to have fun with it.”
Stone and Dahlman became good friends through their mentorship arrangement and continue to help one another. That’s the ideal outcome, Stone says.
“If it’s a matter of people that are really willing to take your help, you’ll work out a way for it to be comfortable.” CG
Larry Ambrose
(Perrone-Ambrose Associates, Inc., 2008) Available at www.perrone-ambrose.com
David A. Stoddard with Robert J. Tamasy (Navpress, 2003) Available at www.amazon.ca
Geof Alred, Bob Garvey and Richard Smith
(Stylus Publishing, 2000)
Available at www.amazon.ca,www.BestBuyBooks.com
Gordon F. Shea
(Crisp Publications, 1999)
Available at www.chapters.ca,www.amazon.ca,www.BestBuyBooks.com
COMMON SENSE MENTORING
THE HEART OF MENTORING: TEN PROVEN PRINCIPLES FOR
DEVELOPING PEOPLE TO THEIR FULLEST POTENTIAL
THE MENTORING POCKETBOOK
MAKING THE MOST OF BEING MENTORED: HOW TO GROW
FROM A MENTORING RELATIONSHIP
